10 Ways to Make Your Wedding Autism-Friendly

Planning a wedding is a whirlwind of excitement and decisions, but for couples or guests who are neurodiverse and living with autism, the sensory overload and social demands can add an extra layer of stress.

It is entirely possible to design a day that’s beautiful, meaningful, while also being autism-friendly. Whether you or your partner are neurodiverse or you’re looking to make your wedding more inclusive, these tips can help create a day everyone can enjoy.

Please note: Every neurodiverse person is different and struggles with different things, so these ideas may or may not be helpful. If anything, I hope they help inspire some ideas for how you can make adjustments to your big day for the neurospicy individuals in your life.

1. Create a quiet space

Weddings can be loud, busy, and overwhelming, so having a quiet and private room to retreat to is a great idea. This space can serve as a relaxing space for anyone needing a break from the crowd and to decompress.

Speak to your venue for the best option that’s the furthest away from loud music. A bedroom might be a great shout for those who like to decompress with a nap.

Equip the room with comfy seating, dim lighting, maybe some noise-canceling headphones, or sensory items. If the room is for yourself and/or your partner, bring along some things that soothe you such as something related to your special interests.

Alternatively, if the room is for your guests, invite them to bring something they take comfort from that they can safely store in the room until they want to use it.

Make sure you communicate with your partner or your guests that you have no issue with them popping to the room to relax whenever they need to.

2. Send a detailed schedule

Surprises can be stressful, so share a detailed itinerary in advance. Include key moments like when photos will be taken, when speeches are happening, and when meals will be served. Guests and the wedding party will appreciate knowing what to expect, especially those who prefer to mentally prepare for transitions.

If there’s anything within the schedule that makes you, your partner or guests feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed, try to explore alternatives that will help to make the different events less daunting.

3. Keep the guest list manageable

For some neurodiverse individuals, large crowds can be overwhelming. Consider trimming the guest list or hosting a smaller celebration to keep things more intimate. A smaller gathering allows for more meaningful interactions and less sensory overwhelm.

4. Provide clear communication

For neurodiverse individuals, vague instructions can be confusing. Work with your vendors to ensure clear communication about what’s happening and when. For example, let your photographer know about any sensory preferences (e.g., avoiding flash photography) or particular poses that might feel uncomfortable.

If you’ve already booked certain plans that could be too much for a neurodiverse individual, communicate the plans with them including timings, and provide options for them (e.g., they could relax in a designated room during a fireworks display, you can provide them sound cancelling ear protection such as Loop earplugs,

5. Be thoughtful about music

Music plays a big role in setting the atmosphere, but it can also be overstimulating. Consider opting for a playlist that’s soothing rather than jarring and discuss volume levels with your venue, DJ or band.

If the first dance feels too intimidating, consider swapping it for a less traditional option, like a private dance or skipping the first dance all together. Traditions are great, but aren’t rules that must be followed.

6. Adjust the timeline

Typical wedding timelines can be long and intense, but they don’t have to be! You could speak to your registrar or celebrant about having a short ceremony, shorten certain reception periods such as the drinks reception, or plan for breaks in the day. Allow time for you or your partner to recharge so that the day feels manageable rather than exhausting.

7. Opt for sensory-friendly decor

When it comes to decor, consider textures, lighting, and colours. Flickering candles and bold, clashing colours can be overstimulating. It does depend entirely on the person, but if this is a worry, opt for softer lighting and cohesive, calming colour schemes. Sensory-friendly touches like smooth table linens or tactile favours can add a thoughtful layer.

8. Provide clear dining options

Navigating a wedding meal can be tricky for those with dietary preferences or sensory sensitivities. Include familiar and straightforward food options on your menu to keep everyone comfortable. A buffet might work well to let people choose what feels best for them, especially if you and the venue or caterer can provide a selection of familiar foods.

9. Embrace neurodiverse-friendly traditions

As I mentioned above, traditional wedding moments – like cutting the cake, first dances, or bouquet tosses – aren't mandatory! Feel free to adapt or skip traditions that might cause stress. Instead, create moments that reflect your personalities and feel meaningful to you both.

I personally LOVE a wedding that goes against tradition. It makes the wedding feel more special and unique.

10. Hire understanding vendors

Work with vendors who are open to learning about ASD and accommodating neurodiverse needs. Photographers, for instance, can plan relaxed, candid shots instead of formal poses. Communicating openly about any preferences will make the day easier for everyone involved.

Bonus tip:

Why not arrange a visit to your wedding venue so that you, your partner and/or your guest can get familiarised with the venue before your wedding day? It’ll help with feeling more comfortable and relaxed on the day itself.

Your day, your way

Whether you’re on the spectrum or supporting someone who is, the key to an autism-friendly wedding is flexibility and understanding. Remember, this is your day. It’s okay to skip traditions, adjust timelines, and make choices that make you feel at ease. By taking small but intentional steps, you can create a celebration that’s as stress-free and unique as your love story.

Planning a wedding is a team effort, so don’t hesitate to lean on your support system, including your vendors. If you have questions about working with an understanding photographer or need ideas on making your day extra special, reach out – I’d love to help!